Barriers: Part 6

For those that have followed my blog for a while, you'll remember a few earlier posts on barriers (pts 1-5). For those that haven't followed from the beginning, it'll make more sense if you go through the other parts first, but the brief background is this: I spent a weekend in Bo Kaap, a neighborhood in Cape Town, South Africa (this was actually almost exactly a year ago now). When I returned to Stellenbosch (the city I was studying in last July-November) I reflected a bit on the idea of cultural barriers and wrote down my thoughts. This is the final installment of the essay:

A child from the Pebbles Project wearing my
             sunglasses near Stellnbosch, South Africa

Moving away from houses we now come to a pocket sized barrier. Now what, you ask, could provide a barrier and fit in your pocket? Sunglasses, of course! (It is important to note here that much of what can be said of sunglasses can be applied to other articles of clothing/accessories, but it is not pertinent to dwell on many of the same thing so I am going to just use sunglasses.) My sunglasses are made of black frames with a fairly simple, yet for me slightly flashy opaque swirl design on the frames and slightly purplish fading lenses. They serve their purpose of protecting my eyes from the sun well (which in the future I will be glad of when I don’t need real glasses or go blind. The same can be said of clothes/sunblock and skin cancer). They also serve as a little fashion statement. Whether they are up or down they add a little to my outfit. I can leave them on my head when I am out of direct sunlight and they can then function as my headband (gotta love multi functional accessories!). Sunglasses go beyond fashion and functionality, however; they also serve as a barrier between me and those around me. When I put them on I can look around, roll my eyes, or make eye contact, without the other person knowing what my eyes are doing. As eyes are such a huge component of non verbal communication, this barrier between us is shutting them out of some of my communication clues. They allow me to take away some of the emotion of what I am saying, which serves as a protection for me. Or I can allow someone to come in. I can put my sunglasses up and look straight at the person. I am giving that person permission to enter my emotions and thoughts, and to better understand what I am communicating. While I am not spelling out all that different clothes and accessories do as barriers, I urge you to think about what the clothes you or others around you say. They serve as an outward, non verbal form of communication and personal expression.

As I was hinting at with sunglasses, we each have emotional barriers. These are perhaps the most powerful of all. While it is possible to break any physical barrier with the use of physical force which anyone can apply, it is not so easy to break emotional barriers. Under this term “emotional” lies the broad spectrum of cultural and personal emotions. These are barriers that cannot be seen so easily as a wall or a door, but to the trained eye are more evident and perhaps even more potent.

Cultural barriers are, technically speaking, cultural differences. They may include simple things to grasp such as language or food, but they certainly include much harder aspects that can hardly be described. As proof of this, think about the United States. Take someone from San Francisco and someone from Los Angeles. These two individuals will have virtually the same language and same accent, yet culturally, they come from very different ways of life. While they both may have the Californianess in them, the one from San Francisco will likely be more laid back, and I dare to stereotype and say more hippie. The one from Los Angeles will likely be in a rush to get somewhere and not be pleased that you have taken more than two seconds of his time without having any connections to the Hollywood industry. It is not completely impossible to overcome cultural barriers, but it is nearly impossible to fully assimilate into a culture that is not your own. This is because there is so much memory and history derived in a culture that cannot be taken away from a person trying to leave a culture. Nor can a new culture be fully understood if a person has other memories and histories that contradict the new ones. In this way, over time, all cultures are lost to changing peoples, but also new cultures are developed. In order for a person to have any hope of learning a new culture, he must immerse himself in it firsthand. Otherwise he will miss out on the many indescribable intricacies that make a culture unique.

Personal emotional barriers are yet the hardest to cross or understand. Each individual has his or her own barrier that only he or she can control. It is a barrier without doors, but with many windows. Over each of these windows we choose when to draw the curtain. Sometimes we only draw the curtain part way and sometimes there are blinds instead of a curtain. With practice you can learn to see through the windows of a person’s emotions, but you can never fully understand them. Just like culturally we each have different histories and memories, personally we each have different histories and memories. Even siblings have different experiences. We can teach others what makes us tick, and they may get what we are trying to communicate, but they can never fully understand. Some people have a barrier that is extra thick. They do not let anyone see through and this closes them off from the world. Others have barriers that are virtually all window with curtain drawn open. Some people have barriers that are shattered and have to be rebuilt. Some see their barriers start to shatter and so they fortify it, and in doing so shut out the outside world. Again, I am now going to ask you to observe and think. What can you see for barriers in the people around you? How about in yourself? What do these barriers mean? You may be surprised what you find you project and what others project when you really think about it. But then, thinking about it will also give you greater understanding and respect for not only those around you, but also for yourself.

Korea: 친구 하고 졍 (Chingoo and Jeong)

The month of May saw many Seoul Mate adventures. Through these I learned about the concept of Chingoo (friends) and Jeong (ummm, hard to explain succinctly, so read on).

Chingoo

Korean culture puts a lot of emphasis on social standing. CEO to intern, parent to child, elderly to young. Even a small difference in age can alter your standing. As such, you are automatic friends (chingoo) with anyone born the same year as you.

We met as a large group (most of the Seoul Mates and most of the CIEE kids and Boram) for a picnic. At one point we were sitting in a circle and going through our ages (partially in Korean, partially in English). Whenever one of the CIEE kids was born the same year as a Seoul Mate she (none of the guys were present) excitedly exclaimed "Chingoo!!" Age is important because status does not always reveal age, especially with the men who have to serve in the army. They therefore graduate college later than is otherwise typical.

Jeong

The very next day, KaylaAnn (an All Year Program CIEE kid), Sammi (AYP), Crystal (my roommate), and Jieun (one of our Seoul Mates) went for dinner. That night I learned the meaning of jeong, which I apparently have with KaylaAnn. It's kind of a bond between two people. It isn't necessarily friendship or love, trust or understanding, but it's a bond none the less. If there is jeong then any issues in the relationship can be smoothed over. Another way it has been described to me is a husband and wife can disagree, but they stay together because of their jeong, their long history, shared memories and moments, residual love, whatever. Anyways, it's important in Korean relationships to have some level of jeong.

Sammi and Sol, my Seoul Mate group :)

Sammi and Crystal

Jieun (Crystal and KaylaAnn's Seoul Mate)
She's kinda really awesome.

KaylaAnn and me. Apparently we have Jeong

~~~

Update: 6/13/2012: I've added pictures from the my Seoul Mate adventures!

Korea: April Adventures

After Japan I was pretty much consistently busy (hence the taking FOREVER to finish posting about Japan and April). But busy really just means having adventures and stories to tell. So here is what went on:

The week before the CIEE group went to Japan, Megan (link to blog) from Parth and my KLI class had made a group of us grilled cheese. That one fateful night then turned into KLI family dinners (we are having one as I write this; Megan is making grilled cheese while Parth gives everyone a hard time, Christina (our friend from the US via Ukraine) sits on the counter, and Avery is straight up chillin’).

So anyways, it was then my turn to cook. I decided to make stuffed peppers, vegetarian style because Avery doesn’t eat meat (Side notes, Megan’s grilled cheese is DELICIOUS and Parth is talking about imaginaaationnn and North Korea). But yeah, my stuffed peppers were fabulous. (Another side note, Christina is now dancing with a spatula and Parth is claiming he is Christina, while Megan disapproves and Avery eats grilled cheese. It’s very amusing). And I served a salad, mashed potatoes, and failed chocolate cake too. Megan ate most of the peppers. She was quite happy.

Most of the pictures that follow are screen shots from Megan's videos. Blogger wouldn't let me delete them, so for now they are slightly out of order, somewhat awkward. Go with it.

Megan & me

Christina was sick that day so she wore a mask. But then, she
is almost always sick.

Avery helped wash the lettuce for the salad

yummy cheesy mashed potatoes!

Megan's stuffed pepper. She wants more still.

Parth skipped out on us that night, but this is him.
Eating cake. With chopsticks.

The original grilled cheese. The grilled cheese that started it all.

Prepping to cook (Potatoes in the pot already)

It should also be noted that Parth and Matt (Australian friend) made fried rice and omelettes (which were actually pretty good) and Avery made curry which was also good. Christina made potato pancakes (Ukranian), which didn't nearly fill us up so we then got MiniStop chicken (chicken on a stick). But nothing tops my dinner...except maybe the grilled cheese ;)

The next day I partook in a movie shoot. Apparently Yonsei needed smiling, foreign looking girls so Hannah from CIEE and I joined for a day. It was LONG but kinda fun and really legit.  I didn’t get a lot of pictures (because I was being filmed, give me a break here!) But they had a make-up artist and real film production stuff.

All dolled up for the movie!

Legit camera & lighting stuff (not so movie tech savvy)

Then the next day (like I said, I was busy in April) CIEE had a Seoul Mate picnic. We went about an hour and a half away (by subway). Neither the program director nor the assistant director was there (Boram apparently had errands to run…). We had kimbap, pastries, and drinkable yoghurt.

Lunch!

Then we walked around the park for a bit. We played games with our Korean friends like this one where you hop on one leg and knock the “queen” down. This amused us for a while, but we continued.

Apparently there was an International Horticulture Festival?

We came across some Korean traditional things. There was a seesaw of sorts. Except instead of a normal seesaw that children sit on, you stand on it. One person jumps, then at just the right moment the other person jumps and is launched really high into the air. Niko (from CIEE, who also happens to be from Massachusetts) was really good at it and a mother put her child on across from him. The poor child didn’t quite get what to do and didn’t jump. Instead the child just quivered on the end for a moment then left. Then Boram’s sister got on. She, mind you, is extra tiny. Like 100 pounds soaking wet tiny. She launched into the air so fast that her knees went up and hit her nose. We then promptly moved on.

It was a fun afternoon, but then it was time to head back. When we got back to Sinchon we split up for dinner. Funny enough, we all ended up at the same restaurant though. Then a few of us hopped back on the bus and went to a new neighborhood (I don’t remember what it was called). The neighborhood had some good shopping and lots of cafes.

The day after the picnic adventure Suzanne (CIEE program director) took us on a hike up an apparently nonexistent mountain. Not really sure how that works, but I went with it. Let’s be real, though. It’s a mountain. There’s only so much to say so just look at the pictures and read the captions.

A neighborhood of old Seoul. The entire city used to be like
this. It's all changed in just the past 50 years. Remarkable.

Cherry blossoms in Korea!

The old Seoul city wall

View over the city

And again, towards Namsan

Pretty purple flowers that I had to stop to take a picture of
...their color just stood out too much not to take a picture

Stopping at the exercise machines, of course. They are every where in Seoul.

A little dude carved into the mountain, and a  little friend for
the dude (get out your glasses, this is like a
Where's Waldo game)

Temple offerings: Soju (alcohol)

That used to be a prison, now it's a museum or something like that

Apparently the rock formation looks like a person. I don't
see it (they really tried to explain it to me, too)

Notice how this rock formation looks like a tiger?

View of Seoul from a rock outcropping we climbed on,
Namsan tower in the background.

Nestled in the ridge you can just see the top of the Blue House
(Korean equivalent of the White House)

The old Seoul city wall, centuries old and still protecting the city

Our guide for the afternoon

Down from the rocks. Caution: do. not. fall. Also, the two black rocks
supposedly look like monks or something. Clearly I just need to be more abstract.

The group: Parth, Michael Comella, Ashley & Angel,
and some other foreigners we met

Inside a temple

The monk stone thing, covered with magpies (a Korean bird)

Food offering to the spirits

A traditional ceremony. Apparently they cost a few thousand
dollars and can last for hours

Also, we were apparently lucky to be allowed to see it at all.
The doors are usually closed.

If memory serves me right, that is really potent either N. Korean or Chinese alcohol.

Korean oreo!

Traditional Korean style roof

A few days later (I needed a break, rest and recovery, and it was pre midterm week.) Crystal, Sammi, Sammi’s friend Kayla Ann, two of the Seoul Mates (Jieun and Sol) went out to dinner. We got chicken and beer. Apparently we looked so foreign that we needed about four forks per person. Seriously. Chicken in general to me is meh, but after we got bingsu which was extra delightful (ice cream, shaved ice, and toppings).

So. Many. Forks.

Since we didn't have knives, Crystal put both forks to use!

Sol and the bingsu. So much bingsu!!

Over the weekend Avery and I met up with her pen pals Jowerny and Stacey for lunch. We went to a vegetarian restaurant that is just inside Sinchon, then for coffee. Jowerny and Stacey are the CUTEST couple! They told us about their plans for a tour of the world on bikes, and we told them about our time here in Korea and what we do back home. It was a nice afternoon and we decided we must do it again (currently working on plans to see them).

The final day (Wednesday April 25^th) was Crystal’s birthday, though. So Brittany and I ventured out into the rain to get her an ice cream cake from Baskin’ Robbins. Yummmm J

Happy birthday Crystal!

Trying to hide from the camera...

Making her wish (she didn't tell us what it was, but I'm still
here so it wasn't to get rid of me!)

On Thursday I attempted to go tutoring. After I had managed to get lost on the way there two weeks before, then slept through it the next week, I finally managed to make it. But this time the woman I was supposed to tutor didn’t show up so I proceeded to walk around the neighborhood. First exciting find of the day: Nutella Waffles!!! (I didn’t have one because I wanted to wait for my friends to be with me).

After making it pretty much all of the way around Sinchon and Edae, Megan called me to get lunch with her. I happily obliged and then we decided to head back to Edae for shopping. After walking around the neighborhood twice in one day, we headed back to Yonsei for KLI where we came across a sign on the way down a long set of stairs. Thank you for the warning Korea, thank you.

"Warning: Steps ahead"

So many people at the crosswalk!

Pretty flowers outside KLI

Nutella waffles!

No nutella at grand mart :(

So that night we had another family dinner, after which we adventured to find the Nutella waffles again. Mind you, I didn’t remember it being quite so far, but I visually knew how to get to it. After walking for what seemed like forever, we finally made it to the waffle place. But it was closed L So then we went to find nutella in the grocery store because Crystal claimed she had seen it there. While I believe her, I had never seen it, and still haven’t seen it there. We ended up getting crepes instead (really good crepes, but not Nutella filled :/)

Here I will take a break to let you move on with your day. Next post (already written) is about how epic the last weekend in April was. Seriously epic. It includes seeing the sun rise and robots. Stay tuned!